Welcome to the Cosmos

The Creation Museum in Petersburg, KY.

This one I've wanted to do for awhile, probably since I first knew that I was going to be swinging down to Kentucky. As it's namesake dictates, the Creation Museum is an attempt at a scientific" defense of the story of creation as portrayed in the first book of the Bible. For those of you who were not raised Christian, that means that the museum set out to prove that the entire universe was created in 6 days, approximately 6,000 years ago. A tall order. I wanted to hear what they had to say.

It was a very entertaining visit. I went with my friend Louise and I believe she had a good time as well on a certain level. The exhibits were pretty well put together and very detailed. Clearly this museum was well-funded and very well thought-out prior to its construction. The museum tour begins with a barrage of signs delineating the differences between the mainstream scientific community way of thinking and the creationist way of thinking. Everything from the age of the universe to the reason for the number of so many species present today. Evolution was of course covered as well. I was surprised to learn that the museum did not deny the phenomenon of evolution entirely. According to the museum, animals do indeed involve, but humans do not, and all evolution has occurred since the Fall of Man (when Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden tree).

You then walk through an exhibit that claims to show what it will be like if society continues to embrace humanism. The lighting is dark, the walls graffitied. There are also a few screen displays that loop stories of human tragedy, one of which depicted a teenager who was pregnant and didn't know what to do. The girl was very convincing in her acting, but the setting was so contrived that it didn't affect me at all. I took a few pictures of the various graffiti writings which I found entertaining.

After that you walk into a brightly lit room with soothing music playing in the background. The walls were covered in beautiful posters of the beauty of the natural world. The picture of the sun, various pictures of the brightly lit night sky, animals, plants... all in vibrant color. The idea of the room was to portray the beauty of God's creation, in complete contrast of the previous room's godless society portrayal. There were also a few screens with people (who were apparently scientists) explaining how it was impossible to be a Christian and NOT believe in the literal truth of the story of creation in the book of Genesis. Whoa.

That's when the real museum tour began. The rest of the tour was broken up into what they called the 7 C's: Creation, Corruption, Catastrophe, Confusion, Christ, Cross, and Consummation. You start out in the Garden of Eden, then Adam and Eve eat the apple and God gets mad and so to punish them and every other human for the rest of time he makes some creatures carnivorous, some poisonous, some devious, and causes suffering, death, disease, even something as specific as pain during childbirth. That sucks. I forget why but then God gets mad again at humans and drowns the entire Earth in water for a year, saving only Noah and some others and two of every animal. Then there is the story of the Tower of Babel (in brief, it explains the existence of different languages and cultures), and then comes the familiar story of Jesus and his redemptive act of death. The consummation part is if one truly believes in the saving power of Jesus, one will be saved and go to heaven.

The museum also has a couple other cool distractions like the show they call "Men in White", a parody of the movie Men in Black. It's about these two angels who come down to convince a girl who doubts the existence of God that God is real and that there is plenty of scientific data to support it. There was also the planetarium, which did a good job of describing the sheer scale of the Universe and how tiny our place is in it. At the beginning of the show, they beckon you to watch with the tag line, "Welcome to the Cosmos". I love that line. There was also a petting zoo and outdoor gardens which were entertaining. I loved the llama. They look so upright and regal to me.

Even though this venture was entertaining, there was a very large part of me that was angry at the perversion of science going on. The statement that the Earth was 6,000 years old was something that I was prepared for, but that Dinosaurs lived along side humans and only went extinct recently...?? That blew me away. This information was presented to children as fact. Not only fact, but something that is unquestionably the truth. Anyone who disagrees MUST be either just a lost soul, or someone who was directly being influenced by the devil. In short, it indirectly taught intolerance of those who disagree with you. And at such a young age...

The method of argument used throughout the museum goes something like this:

Take a theory that precludes the possibility of a young Earth, examine it superficially, find a gap of information or lack of a specific piece of evidence in the theory, hyperbolize the importance of this gap while ignoring the rest of the body of evidence, declare the theory as invalid because of this gap, insert accounts found in the Bible as the only possible alternative explanation without any evidence other than the Bible itself, declare victory. Finding out the true nature of the Universe is as simple as that.

It made me realize that the people behind the Creationist museum don't understand the nature of evidence. I think I'm borrowing this analogy from Richard Dawkins, but when police are trying to solve a crime, they gather bits of evidence and attempt to make a logical conclusion from that evidence. There is never a complete, video-style, frame-by-frame account of what happened at the scene of the crime. Instead, one must infer what really happened by what evidence remains. If there is much corroborating evidence, one can draw an accurate picture of what happened, even if every detail might not be accounted for. This is science.

The arguments presented, however, were the most sophisticated I've ever seen on behalf of Creationism. But don't get me wrong, they could still be quickly tossed aside with a college-level geology or biology textbook. But I, as well as they I'm sure, knew all the adults at this museum had made up their mind before entering the door, myself included. It was all about the children.

Something I also learned about was the nature of the reasoning of why creationists argue the way they argue. The Bible, as it appears today, is the most important piece of evidence there is, or ever will be. This applies not just to spiritual truth, but scientific and historical truth as well. All other evidence collected in the modern day must be evaluated in the context of the truths of the Bible. All evidence that agrees with the Bible is a happy coincidence. Everything that contradicts the Bible, must, by necessity, either have been collected and examined incorrectly, or simply evaluated with invalid assumptions.

So what's the question that should be everywhere but found nowhere?

Why? Why should the Bible be trusted as the word of God?

Because the Bible says that the Bible is the word of God.

Oh.

So, to sum up: the Creationist Museum is an educational disgrace, but somehow kinda fun at the same time. Would I recommend it? If you happen to be near Cincinnati and have a day to kill...

Nah. Keep the $22 and take yourself to a Reds game. That ballpark is pretty cool I hear.

Mountains and Neon Lights

Together at last.

I know what you must be thinking. Who would allow such a thing? Who would in their right mind would gaze upon the the natural wonder of the Smoky mountains and think to themselves, "Whooooooa, what this place really needs is a go-cart track with a 100 foot, electronic sign. I'll put it between the McDonald's and the IHOP, across the road from the adult gift shop!"

The people of Pigeon Forge and Galtlingburg, TN, that's who.

The only way I can think of describing it this:

First picture the coolest, wooded place you've ever been. It doesn't have to be anywhere special. It could be a local park, or even your backyard if you live/lived in a wooded area. Got it? OK.

Now, picture the strip at Las Vegas with a few details added and subtracted. Take out the tall buildings, the fancy cars, the nice restaurants, the nice hotels, the fancy shows, and basically anything else remotely classy. Now, in place of the tall buildings, add arcades, go-cart tracks, adult book stores, and souvenir shops. In place of nice restaurants, add pancake houses, McDonald's, and bargain steak houses. In place of the fancy shows, add shows with names like "The Comedy Barn". And finally in place of nice hotels, add Days Inn, Comfort Inn, and innumerable non-chain hotels with "Free Jacuzzi" and "Free HBO" signs prominently displayed. Mix in about a billion stop-lights, lots of southern accents, and you've got yourself Hick Vegas.

Still with me? One more step. Take your beautiful, bucolic, wooded setting of natural splendor and juxtapose it with Hick Vegas. Can you get your mind around it? As Everlast said, "then you really might know what it's like."

Part of me enjoyed the juxtaposition. It was just so absurd. My eyes wandered from over-sized electronic sign to over-sized electronic sign, trying to absorb as much visual data as I could. After driving through Pigeon Forge just once, I think I now have ADD. And I haven't even gone to Dollywood yet. I may just crumple in an epileptic seizure upon crossing the gates if I go there.

The larger part of me was sad to see what I saw as a cheapening of such natural beauty. The Great Smoky Mountains are truly amazing. The views in the park rivaled the views of the Rocky Mountains in my mind, and for those of you who know me well, that is a huge complement for the Smokies. I occasionally caught myself thinking, while staring into the distance of a beautiful view or plant or animal, that what I was seeing was somehow tainted, the vibrant images in my mind slightly ironically grayed by the bright lights of the surrounding towns.

But luckily, those thoughts passed and I was able to enjoy myself. To all nature-lovers: the Smokies are a must see. Just be prepared to travel through the unnaturally bright and blinking gauntlets of Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg. Close your eyes if necessary.

Oh, about the trip. I went with some goods friends, Louise and Brad, Thursday late in the morning. We car-camped that night at Elkmont campground in the northern part of the park. Awesome night. Louise and Brad both bought wine, four bottles in total, all of which I believe were under $5 a bottle. But to give our taste some credit, one of them was on sale. 50% off. So there. Ridiculousness ensued as could be expected, three of the four bottles finished off before the night was over. I stayed mostly behind the camera, and some of the aforementioned ridiculousness has been documented in the photo section.

The next day we visited Grotto falls, which was a little disappointing. There was a ton of people there, and the falls I guess were a little dried up. And plus we didn't even find any salamanders, which is what it is famous for. So after that we went to the launching point of our backcountry hike at the south end of the park. Man it took awhile to get there. At one point we drove down a one-lane, windy road, completely surrounded by woods, and barely wide enough for my puny Focus. That was actually fun. Though, if my car's suspension could talk, I'm sure it would disagree.

Once there, we headed out and only hiked a few miles to our first night's campsite. It was already pretty late at that point anyway, so it worked out well. The next day we hiked about 12 miles and camping at an overcrowded campsite. People people people! Too many people! The next morning we hiked the last few miles and met up with our car again.

It was a pretty cool hike. The collective knowledge between Louise and Brad allowed the identification of virtually any plant we came across. We came across a plant called an Indian Cucumber Root, I believe, which Brad dug out of the ground revealing a white, fleshy bulb at the bottom, and told me to try it. It actually tasted quite good and was refreshing. Like a cucumber. We also came across a plant called a Sassafras, whose leaves, when ripped, smell exactly like Fruit Loops. I mean EXACTLY like fruit loops. It was uncanny.

I also learned a lot about the birds there. Their specific calls and how to identify them, and lots of other general info about birds that I never knew. Did you know that the oven-bird nests on the ground in a rounded tipi-like structure? Yep, that's right. You do now.

So the trip was very tiring but awesome and well worth all the driving. Check out the pics!

So the plan is to hang around this area for a few more days. I'm definitely going to visit Dollywood before I leave. I can't pass up that cultural experience. I believe I'm also going to visit some local gorge that seems pretty cool. Oh, and then there's the creationist museum can't forget that. And maybe some other minor things and then off to Oklahoma!

If your eyes are as tired as my fingers, then you must be glad this post is about to end.

Phew.

Chris

And so it begins...

So this is my first real post, real being defined as "from a public location nowhere near my former residence". Look it up.

I'm in this place called Sawyer's Grill in downtown Lexington Kentucky. It's a cute little town actually. They call themselves a city but come on, I know what a city looks like. You're an overgrown small-town and you know it. This is what the road has done to me after only two days. I'm anthropomorphizing a city and attempting to converse with it.

I spent the past couple days camping. The first night was next to Buckeye Lake in Ohio. It was pretty lame. I wanted to camp there because I figured there must be some lakeside camping, it being a State Park. DENIED. NO CAMPING OR SWIMMING ALLOWED, the invisible park sentry screamed to me. I was so disappointed. So I had to settle for some shoddy campground a mile down the road, which ended up costing me $35, a bit over-priced for a piece of Earth on which to lay my tent in my opinion. I stayed at Budget Inn in Missouri once for $35. Sure, the room reeked of smoke, and the sheets were not the freshest I'd ever encountered, but there was a private bathroom and a TV with HBO. At least the campgrounds had showers. I took an excessively long one, to get as much as I could out of my $35. KOA Campgrounds, never again.

Last night, I spent the night in Daniel Boone National Forest in Kentucky. It was the northern part of the forest, in a campground called Twin Knobs, which is close to the town of Morehead (I'd like to point out my restraint from making some jokes about camping at Twin Knobs in Morehead. This is a classy online journal thankyouverymuch. Though feel free to post any jokes that come to mind haha). This was my second attempt to camp lakeside, as the campgrounds sat on one of the elbows of Cave Run Lake. I fared much better this time. My campsite was about a hundred feet from the lake. There was also a beach, which was not right next to my campsite, but within driving distance. I spent about an hour in the water, which was surprisingly warm I thought. The last lake I was in sucked the air out of my unfortunate body. This water welcomed me in, almost sucking me down with it's inviting warmth.

Today has been much different. I've been hanging around downtown Lexington, KY. I visited the city museum, and have given myself a walking tour of the whole downtown area. Beautiful weather here today.

I'm still looking at making improvements to this site. I've actually got started on that map thing I haphazardly had mentioned in my last post. I also want to do some fun things like trivia polls based on fun facts I picked up on the trip, and create some lists on things I've seen and done. Let me know if anyone has any ideas for stuff to add and I'll run it by my webmaster to see what he can do. Ok that was totally a joke I don't have a webmaster come on man.

Until then...

Chris